Wednesday, March 5, 2014

a secret.

I am a worrier.

I always have been.
you probably already knew that.

I worry about everything. 

I worry about small things.
big things.
non-existent things.

I tend to over analyze and get ahead of myself. I used to worry (to the point of it was all i could think about) when/if D was ever going to tell his parents about me/meet them. It was all of like 2 months into our relationship and I was already worried about it.

I literally over analyzed that situation in my head that I would make myself sick and get myself thinking that maybe he didn't really care for me since I hadn't met his parents.

I started worrying about what we were going to do for Thanksgiving and Christmas (since my family lives out of town) in like September.....

that is crazy.

When i was driving home from work on thursday I realize that my worrying has advanced to anxiety.

The entire 40 minute drive I had knots in my stomach worrying about getting all my stuff ready, forgetting something I wanted to wear, who was going to drive, how much money i could spend, how much i should drink if by chance I would have to drive. I was so anxious about all this stuff that my excitement was drained and the worry over the evening took over my brain.

that is ridiculous.

I get anxious driving on the highway, in the rain...in the dark.
the thought of driving in the rain, actually makes my muscles tighten my my tummy turns.
just thinking about it.

I get nervous a lot about things, daily. I should have more confidence in myself and not worry so much. I need to relax and stop thinking about things that months and months away. Even more, I need to stop worrying about things that I have zero control over.

but it is almost impossible.


Does anyone else worry as much as this?
about things that are so out or their control, or things that are way in the future?



11 comments:

  1. We are twinsies! But, you already knew that. My worrying/anxiety is so ridiculous. I will cancel plans sometimes because I worry so much. When I came to visit you...OMG let's not talk about how much I worried about things and the anxiety I had! lol

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  2. I worry like nobodies business. it's bad. REAL REAL BAD! :(

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  3. I worry just like this!! All the time over the littlest things. When I realize what I'm doing I try to stop and make myself pray.

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  4. I am such a worrier. My worrying has turned into anxiety as I've gotten older. I can be a bit of a control freak, so if something is beyond my control, I freak out just a little bit. It's a daily struggle, but I like to believe that it has gotten a tiny bit better in the past year. You're not alone!

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  5. I feel like I wrote this. Dereck always tells me I think of "worst case scenario" and worry myself into exhaustion. And it's true. I can't help it! I'm constantly worried about something or anxious about something else. I have gotten better at dealing with it but it's still always there. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm obsessing over something and just have to move on, let it go, and things will workout as they may. It's a struggle and obviously it's harder to do with more serious situations/decisions. I've considered seeing a doctor about it but I'm trying my best to just deal with it on my own.

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  6. I worry like this ALL THE TIME. It is exhausting. And I want to stop, but I don't know how, and every time I try, I worry that I'm missing something, and that I'll end up forgetting something imperative, or I'll look like an idiot because I got blindsided by something that I SHOULD have seen coming, or at least would have, if I had been worrying about it like I was supposed to be. It's the worst. I totally feel ya, girl.

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  7. Just make lists and plan a lot. Even if you can't control it, you'll feel better than you have a plan in mind. I worry about what I can spend, so I made a budget. Sure, I can't always control life to exactly fit my budget but it makes me feel better that it's there. I can't control my family at holiday times but at least I have a plan for a portable side dish and 3 outfits picked out so I can change if I need to!

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  8. I don't know why but there is always SOMETHING weighing heavy on my mind/heart. I never seem to not be worried about something. It's a sickness I tell ya! And it's not healthy, especially because most of the time what we're consuming ourselves with is nothing in the long run. We should start a support group :-P

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  9. I don't worry a lot, but when I do, it's everything all at once! So I somewhat feel what you feel. I make a lot of lists and write events in multiple calendars/planners so I don't forget anything and it helps a little :)

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  10. Girl this is so normal that anyone who doesn't feel these things is weird. Did that even make sense?? haha anyhow, you are definitely NOT alone!

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  11. I don't have any words of advice or of wisdom. I just want you to know that you're not alone. :)

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have a wonderful day :)