Tuesday, March 19, 2013


Hi pretty.
How is your tuesday going?? I cannot complain about mine
Things are going pretty good today...EXCEPT i found we are getting a lot of
snow this week..as in by thursday the ozarks will be white. FML. I was wearing shorts
this weekend...springtime come back to meee!

So anyways even though i am having a great today
i won't lie to you guys. I have been struggling.
Struggling with a lot of stuff . I have been fighting with the whole being sad...all day thing.
I sometimes let myself slip into negative thoughts & allow it to take over my whole evening.
or even my entire day. I am not making myself stay positive & look forwards instead
of backwards.

Everyone says it gets easier.
and it has.
but when will i fully be healed?
I cried for the first time in over a month the other day. 
I was feeling lonely and really sorry for myself.
I hated myself for it. I don't want to feel that way.
I do not want to cry or still be hurting after almost 3 1/2 months, but I am.
It is better, i promise. But i slipped and let the 
saddness take over for a day or two and sometimes it is hard to get past it.
or to pick myself back up.  
I am so blessed & i don't know why sometimes
i focus on the negatives and how badly the hurt is and not on the love
of my friends and family.

I had to let it out. I always want to be honest on this blog.
I want to share exactly how i am feeling and what I am doing.
 I swore I would never sugar-coat anything and i am trying to be more open
and honest about my life on this little blog.
I know I am going to be fine, but  I wish I would hurry up & get there.
So there ya have it.

and not let that be my whole post.
I want to end on a more positive note and share a little present i got in the mail
from my love Stephanie!

We have decided to send little presents to each other
every once in a while & this is what she sent me :)
*the cutest hot cocoa mix
*Nail Polish
*Notebook & Pen

She is the best!!

OH and i made the most fab dinner last night!!
Dijon Chicken & Asparagus with a soy & honey dressing.

Alrighty, enough with my pity party.
I love you guys for putting up with me over the past almost 4
months and reading too many depressing posts. More than anyone wants to read
I thank you.

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  1. I loveeee you. I'm so glad you like your gifts!! And everyone has bad days...it's ok. Just don't let it consume you! And, of course, text me and I'll try to make you smile :)

  2. Aw those are fun gifts!!
    And I hear you, it gets better and that's fine, but when will it be fixed completely? Ugh.

  3. I tend to get sad randomly because I continue to let the negative thoughts take over my mind. When people ask me what's wrong, I try to explain it like "It's like fighting a constant battle with your brain. You know the negative thoughts you are thinking are wrong/lies.. but yet you're not strong enough to move on from them. Even though you know the negative thoughts are lies, you can't convince your mind to not worry about them."

    I am my biggest bully-- and it's horrible! I beat myself up mentally all the time, and I get wrapped up in negative emotions sometimes for days. It takes time to learn how to be positive, but you'll get there! Let me know if you need anyone to talk to :)

  4. Oh sweet cheeks, look back a few months on the ole blog, it was a bitter pity party for one! It's ok to be sad sometimes. Sadness does not = weakness. Be sad. Feel it all. It's better to feel it all than to be fake! Own it lady.

  5. Everyone has those days! It's good to get it out. You'll get there girl :)

  6. you will get there. everything will be OK, don't worry! Come up to MN I will entertain the shit out of you for a weekend!!! :)


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