Shit. Shit. Shit.
That is my mood as of today. I have shit going on with someone. basically just fucking
playing games with my head & my heart. I betcha can't guess who it is.
oh wait..you probably can.
I was finally starting to feel semi normal again & then it gets all screwed up again.
"I miss you so much. I cannot handle it anymore"- Wednesday via text
"i want to be with you again..." - Thursday in person
"I just don't know what i want, but I miss you so much. I am still trying to figure it out" - Sunday night in person
this is what I am dealing with right now.
I know, I SHOULD be stronger and say a big ole "F YOU! I am moving on"
but i can't.
I feel like an idiot. I don't have the 'power' or the 'upperhand' or anything.
I am just sitting here waiting on someone else.
this isn't healthy. this isn't what I want but I cannot just let go.
i feel so sick.
How can i sit here and let someone jerk me around like this. Why can't i just let go
and move on?
being in love with someone is the pits.
I don't know.
I have been praying and praying for answer and for strength.
I am pissed. sad. depressed. and a million other things.
this post doesn't make much sense, but i had to get it out and let you know I am still alive..