Tuesday, July 21, 2015


I dwell.

I always have. I am an over analyzer, over thinker & worry wart.

Lately I have been dwelling on a few things from my past. Things I am embarrassed of and regret. Things that I wish I could have told my younger self

"don't be stupid. You will regret that"

 I have a had a lot of time at home alone since I am on summer break and D works during the day and these thoughts have been something that I cannot get off my brain. I want to forget or to put it out of mind but it is weighing too heavy on my heart. It makes me sad, upset and almost sick to my stomach. I am not perfect and I know I never will be but I am in such a different place than I was, say 3-4 years ago and I want to accept  choices I made and move on.

I need to forgive myself but I am really struggling.
really struggling.

I am not sure how to get past this and just 'move on' and not let it bother me. I looked up a few quotes so I thought I would share these, even if its just something I can look back on re read to remind myself that I made mistakes but that doesn't define me now.

I am trying to find forgiveness for myself.

I will be back to blogging once I get a new layout etc & once I get my mojo back.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Weekend Shenans {Day Trips & Fourth of July}


happy Monday friends! The sun is shining for gorgeously this morning here in Missouri. Which is a nice changed from the rain we have been having! This weekend flew by, but I feel like I always say that! D had a 3-day weekend which of course made me the happiest girl. We had a semi low key weekend nothing too crazy--

Since D was off we took a day trip to Kansas City. We both had been wanting to go up there for a while and we headed to The Legends which is like a big outdoor mall (with lots of outlet type stores) I spent way too much money but got some good stuff!

{1}Picked this little package up at CVS. It was a nice healthy road trip snack. They had tons of flavors so i might have to go back & get more to keep in my desk at school.
{2} Mid shopping we stopped at Jose Peppers for lunch
{3} I got grilled fish tacos
{4} OOTD- shorts are old navy & Kimono is Charlotte Russe


{1} We slept in a little bit, but then headed to the gym & ran a few errands (aka walmart)
{2} We celebrated at his family's house. There was lots of hanging out outside
{3} His parents recently went to Gulf Shore, AL and brought back shrimp & Crawfish and we hadna big boil & BBQ
{4} There were a few fireworks


This was literally the laziest of days! We binged (I mean like 9 episodes of Sons of Anarchy). We did make it out for a little Sno Biz (shaved ice stand) & that was about it. I didn't mind at all though :)

How was your fourth?? What did you guys do?

Friday, July 3, 2015

5 on Friday


happy friday my friends!! D has today off so we are going to be spending the whole day together. I am not sure what we will be doing, but I am so glad he is off work with me :) I hope most of you are off work as well and are getting ready to enjoy this weekend! I am not 100% sure of our plans this weekend. I believe we are hanging out with his family and possibly going to the lake with them.

We are heading the gym shortly but before we do that I thought I'd share my Friday 5 with you!

{1} We finally started Season 4 (the one that just aired on TV) of Scandal! We only watched a few episodes and I am already obsessed again! LOVE Oliva Pope!

{2} Ice pops.
i cannot get enough. They are 25 cals ( I know allll sugar) but just so darn refreshing :)

{3} WE HAVE OFFICIALLY OFFICIALLY (aka the deposit checks have been cashed) booked our photographer and venue. I know I mentioned i earlier this week but it is actually official now!

{4} I might have had a mini shopping spree at Hobby Lobby. I went in to get stuff to make a summer-ish wreath & none of that was bought.... this stuff was

{The 'L' will hang in our hallway, the black wooden sign will go in my room, mason jars I thought would be cute for smoothies/just drinking out of it, glue sticks & spray pain for a few DIY} There was so much cute stuff I will def be going back soon!

{5}  This song.

I am obsessed with it!!

 & that will do it for me! Have a great weekend friends! Stay safe and keep the cool beverages coming :)

Linking up here

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

July Goals

Is it really July 1st?? I love July mostly because it is my BIRTHDAY MONTH  :) I will be 26 on 13th and I am excited. Not for turning 26, but because i LOVE birthdays and summer!

I also need to start working on things for my classroom. Nothing too hardcore but just getting organized. I need to print a bunch of stuff and instead of using all my ink/my crappy printer I was thinking of going somewhere to have it printed (in color). BUT I have never done this before? What I need is a PDF file and I don't want every single page in the file, am I allowed to use a computer and print on my own or do they do it for you?

ALSO, i am in need a of a new blog design. I want something simple but in all honesty I don't wanna have to pay/pay a lot for it. I know,  what a cheapo. Any thoughts?

Okay moving right along.... As most of you know I love a good list and I love seeing things in print. It is something that works for me. Here are a few Goals I have for July

+ Begin on School organization and *fingers crossed* work in my room
+ Go on more evening walks at the park with D
+ Go to a Springfield Cardinals (minor league team) game
+ Finish at least one book
+ Get Sno Biz at least oncce
+ Focus on biceps/legs at the gym, build those muscles
+ Try at least 3 new recipes

What are your Goals for the Month?

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

First Birthdays & Concerts

Hello there!!

So I know I am day late on the whole weekend recap but my Dad & Sister surprised me yesterday morning by coming into town for the day so I didn't have time to write this post.

We had a GREAT weekend. Saturday was busy busy and then Sunday was PURE relaxation. Those are my favorite kind of weekends!

So yesterday evening D & I met with our photographer, and YES we picked one! D is faxing over the contract today and we will invoice the deposit tonight I believe.

PHEW!!! So we have our venue & our photographer (the two big ones that needed to be booked) DONE and now I can just relax (& pin) until I look for dresses this fall! :)

Alrighty onto the weekend--


I got up & got the the gym  early on Friday just to get it out of the way!
I meal planned in my new planner (post coming up about that this week!)
Target run with my passionfruit tea #basic
Coffee & youtube  :)


Cody (D's best friend) had a1st birthday party for his niece, it was perfect weather
BBQ, nomnom
D & I 
D giving the little kids tractor rides
Saturday night we went to the Turnpike Troubadour concert

D & I
The girls
We were on the floor, second row!

Sunday I took zero pictures. D & I finished OITNB season 3 and were bums until we went to his parents & ate dinner. We played a few games and then headed home ans to bed!

How was your weekend friends?

Friday, June 26, 2015

5 things {Wedding Venue}

Happy Friday!!

So I am about to head out to go run a few errands before this weekend get started but I thought I'd pop in & share my Friday 5 with you!


We picked our wedding venue!! EEEEK :) I am so so excited about it. I sent the contract and the deposit on Wednesday so I guess it is not official official until the owner signs in but she did write us down reserved our date which will be...

September 10, 2016

AHHHH :) I am so overly excited. It is definitely further out than we wanted BUT it just gives me more time to plan and save for our dream wedding. Here is a few snap shots I took while we did a tour. We will hopefully have an outdoor ceremony with the reception indoors. There is PLENTY of room/2 options for an indoor ceremony in case of bad weather.


We are about 3/4 of the way done with Orange is the New Black (we just finished episode 10) and I am not that thrilled with this season. One I find a lot of it boring, Piper is pissing me off more than usual (she is SUPER annoying this season) and then I was just really disgusted with episode 10 (the one mostly about Pensatucky) I know this is a show about women in prison, but I watch this show for enjoyment but I was pretty sickened by that episode...


Yesterday i was VERY productive and cleaned out my closet and dresser. I have so many things that are just too big that I repeatedly tell myself 'oh I can make this work' but in reality I cannot. They are just too big/not working for me. So I cleaned a BUNCH out. Some things are going to my sister and others I am going to try and sell to Plato's Closet. I know they won't take much (helllooo i used to work there) but I am gonna be on the side of town so I thought, why not?

That blue tote is FULL and that is just one stack going to my sister


I got ring back Wednesday from being sized but had to take it back yesterday because the diamonds are loose. I guess when you size down so drastically (originally a size 7, D got it size to 5 1/4 which was still to big and I had to have it sized to a 4) that the prongs are loosened, WELL they didn't tighten them back up...so now i must wait a WHOLE more week before I get it back. I know it's totally first world problems, BUT I really want to wear it...


TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY WE ARE HEADING HOME!! I cannot wait to see my family (I haven't seen them since we got engaged) and I am SO excited!!

happy friday!!

Linking up here & here!

Monday, June 22, 2015

Father's Day Weekend

Happy Monday friends!
There is still sunshine here in ole Missouri. I am so glad to have this sun because the last two weeks has been nothing but clouds and rain!

We are going to look at one of our venues today!! EEEK :) This one will be our top pick and we are so excited. I had a mini meltdown on Friday because originally we wanted to get married next June as soon as school was out for me...but EVERYTHING is booked. Like everything. Venues and Photographers are booked all next spring into June and July. WHAT??? So it's looking like late August/September will be when we say the 'I Do's' but I have come to peace with it & I am fine. Still pretty anxious about getting things  booked etc but hopefully within the next few days we will have things nailed down.

ONTO the weekending


I was up early sipping on coffee and working on a few clean up things on my computer.
I hit the gym for double cardio {Stairs & Treadmill}
OOTD--Shorts & Vneck from Old Navy 
Friday night I meant a few teacher friends for happy hour and then headed for patio date night with D. I got a turkey burger {sans bun} with the best fries in town.


D & I slept in and decided to take a rest day from the gym and then ran errands.
HOLY strawberries. We wandered into SAMs and for these gorgeous babies. They are so dang good!
We also HAD to enjoy the sun and laid about by the pool for a little while.
We binge watched Sons of Anarchy but took a quick sonic break for Green Apple Slushies with Nerds. {YUM!}


Sunday was of course Father's Day. We headed to the gym pretty early. My dad is in STL so after I called to wish him a Happy Father's Day we got ready & headed to lunch with D's family!

All the heart eyes for this boy.

After lunch we headed to his parents house for dessert and to hang out out

This cutie came over {D's neice} and we got to play with the little munchkin :)

That was about it. Hope you guys had a wonderful Weekend!

Linking up here